Does your child have conduct issues? Your relationship with your child likely needs some attention.
After all, what is the goal when you’re dealing with children? To show who’s boss? To instill fear? Or to help the child develop into a decent, self-confident human being?
You realize the checkout line situation: 3-year-old child needs this toy, this sweet, this something – and she needs it nooooow! The crying starts, growing into an out and out fit of rage.
Good parenting helps foster empathy, honesty, self-reliance, self-control, kindness, cooperation, and cheerfulness, says Steinberg. It also promotes intellectual curiosity, motivation, and desire to achieve. It helps protect children from developing anxiety, depression, eating disorders, anti-social behavior, and alcohol and drug abuse.
Too many parents base their actions on gut reaction. But some parents have better instincts than others. Children should never be hit — not even a slap on a toddler’s bottom, “If your young child is headed into danger, into traffic, you can grab him and hold him, but you should under no circumstances hit him.”
“Many people use the same tactics their own parents used, and a lot of times that meant using really harsh discipline.
A parent’s relationship with his or her child will be reflected in the child’s actions — including child behavior problems. “If you don’t have a good relationship with your child, they’re not going to listen to you. Think how you relate to other adults. If you have a good relationship with them, you tend to trust them more, listen to their opinions, and agree with them. If it’s someone we just don’t like, we will ignore their opinion.”
The first principle of Good Parenting
- What you do matters. “This is one of the most important principles, “What you do makes a difference. Your kids are watching you. Don’t just react on the spur of the moment. Ask yourself, ‘What do I want to accomplish, and is this likely to produce that result?'”